Hi everyone, my name is Enya and I am a first-year medical student here at BSMS. My route into medical school was not a simple one. For me, results day did not go as planned. I wanted to share my story with you, with the hope that it may reassure some of you in the lead up to your results day and let you know that lower grades or failure is not the end of the world, or the end of your medical journey; It may be of benefit to you.
I decided that medicine was the career for me when I was in Year 9. I was a part of the BrightMed scheme that BSMS offers and had my heart set on coming here: my dream medical school. I didn’t have the easiest time in secondary school, but managed to leave with As, a few A*s and 1 B: good enough for medicine. I progressed to my sixth form college – BHASVIC – ready to study Biology, Chemistry and PE, and to finally start my medical school application.
It was in BHASVIC that my life changed. In my first year there in 2015, I had a large jaw surgery which meant I had around 50% attendance. Due to missing so much content, I could not get the grades needed for medicine. I decided I would join the year below me, and restart from the beginning.
Year 1 student, Enya Costin
The decision to restart my A-levels was not an easy one for me. Even though I knew my low grades were caused by my surgery, this was my first experience of failure. Like many aspiring medics, I viewed anything less than top grades a failure.
To go from never having struggled academically to failing was a large shock to me. I admit that back then, I based my self-worth on my academic achievement alone, even if I did not realise this at the time. Suddenly failing and not getting good grades for the first time not only made me worry about my future, but also question who I was as a person. Who was I if I wasn’t the straight A gifted and talented student who was set to be the first doctor in my family? I was determined that resitting the year would be my last barrier in my journey to be a doctor, and that I would not fail again.
However, life does not go to plan. I naively believed that during my retake years, I would be able to fully focus on my career goals. During the next two years, I had a lot of family events take place. My nan was diagnosed with cancer and became ill very quickly, so I helped care for her before she died a few months later. On top of this, I also had two other members of my family nearly die and experience the consequences of this during the same time frame.
These family events rightly changed my priorities away from my studies, although I did try to carry on with everything. I was working four part time jobs to support myself and my family, I was trying to deal with the grief I was facing, continuing to swim competitively (which involved hours of training every day), and on top of this was continuing my A-level studies and medical school application which included volunteering at a hospital one day a week. Unsurprisingly, I completely burnt out. I was getting a few hours of sleep each night and couldn’t handle my overloaded schedule. The medical school application process is heavy and stressful enough, without other life events taking place. I regret not giving myself more of a break at this time, and wish I could tell myself that everything works out in the end.
It was during this time that I started doing my mock exams. My grades had suffered, and, at this point, I had teachers telling me to rethink everything that I dreamed of, with some even telling me that I should not be studying A-levels at all. I was more stressed than ever and didn’t know how to handle it. The low grades affected my self-esteem, and as I had never struggled academically before, I didn’t know how to revise effectively, or pick myself up from a setback like this. I was lucky enough that I had a great friend, my family and some teachers rally around me; my friend tutored me during lunch breaks and free periods, my teachers ran extra one-to-one revision sessions for me, and my family was unwavering in the support they gave me.
I decided during that year that the most logical move would be to wait for my A-level results before starting my application so that I knew my final grades. This would mean taking a gap year, however, as a widening participation student who would need to self-fund university, a year of working full time and having some savings behind me was not a bad idea.
I made sure that I stayed in contact with BrightMed throughout this and updated them on what I was doing. As they knew I was going to be taking a gap year and wanting to work, they sent me a job that had been advertised to them: an NHS pilot scheme working as a Doctors Assistant in psychiatry, made for aspiring medical students taking a gap year. I decided to apply for it. Luckily, due to the mock interview practice I had done in preparation for my medical school application, I scored highly in their interview and got the job. I knew that whatever my grades were, I had a job for the next year that would give me a great insight into the life of a doctor and a secure income.
It was around this time that I had my A-level results day. I knew my exams hadn’t gone the best, but there was still that part of me hoping that I had pulled it off and achieved the grades needed. I was wrong, and collected my results of a B in PE, a C in biology and a D in chemistry. I am sure you all know that those are not grades that any medical school would accept, and I was crushed.
This is where I was lucky to have kept in contact with the BrightMed team. After collecting my thoughts, I had a discussion with them about if there was any way I could still apply to medical school, as I was still set on becoming a doctor. After discussing alternative routes into medical school (which are quite hard to find if you don’t know what to look for), I decided that I would try to apply to an Access to Medicine course at a nearby college.
I worked for a year as a Doctors Assistant, with opportunities that I never would have got if I had passed my A-levels. One example of this was when I created and presented research at a national conference at the Royal College of Psychiatrists. The insight I gained into the life of a doctor made me question whether medicine was still something that I wanted to do, but after questioning this, I was surer than ever that I wanted to study medicine.
During my time as a Doctors Assistant, I successfully applied and got onto an Access course, which allowed me to apply to medical school. Access courses are usually for people who didn’t take the correct subjects, but due to my extenuating circumstances I was accepted. I then emailed every medical school in the UK: only 6 would consider me. I applied to BSMS, Anglia Ruskin, St Georges, and Newcastle due to my high UCAT score (top 10%). I got three interviews and three offers (St Georges forgot to consider my extenuating circumstances, but I did not appeal as I already had other offers).
In September 2020, I started medical school here at BSMS. I have been grateful for my experience of academic failure, as once you enter medical school you are surrounded by other people who have also achieved highly and met the high standards of medical school. In this environment, it is not a matter of if you will “fail”, but when. You soon realise that a pass grade is enough, and an amazing achievement. I am glad that I learnt how to fail before coming to medical school, it’s a valuable lesson to have learnt. Failure is not a bad thing, as long as you learn and take something from it.
I hope that your results day goes well for you, and you get the grades you need. If not, remember that it’s not the end; if this is what you want to do, there is always another way.