I started my career as a research assistant on an HIV treatment adherence study having previously done a nursing degree back in the early nineties. I completed a research module in the final year of my degree and discovered that I loved research. I practised as a nurse for a year and then did a Master's in applied research methods so that I could become a researcher.
When I was younger, I don’t think I really knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to travel and nursing appeared to be a good way of doing it. My mum was also a nurse, so it seemed like a good path to go down. I think there's a lot of pressure to know what you want to do when you’re young but, in hindsight, it's really good not to know and to lean towards what interests you. I didn’t know at school that being a health researcher was even a job but I’m so glad that’s now what I do for a living.
I originally got a job at the University of Brighton in 2000 and worked there for a couple of years as a research assistant on an HIV adherence study. After that, I worked for UCL and the Brighton and Sussex University Hospital Trust (now University Hospitals Sussex) as a research fellow on the Brighton Syphilis Outbreak project. Following this, I went back to the University of Brighton to work for the National Institute for Health Research (NIHR) Research Design Service South East. I provided methodological and other advice to NHS and HEI staff applying for competitive external research grants. I then won my own NIHR grant to research the sexual health needs of women with problematic drug use. At this point, I realised I needed a PhD to progress my career and so I applied for an NIHR doctoral fellowship, supported by Professor Jackie Cassell. I was successful in my application which is what brought me to BSMS.
My role at BSMS is as an Honorary Research Fellow, working on research studies and papers and developing grants. I've also contributed to IRPs in recent years and to some of the other activities in the Primary Care and Public Health (PCPH) department. In the last two years, I’ve undertaken and published research with PCPH colleagues – a study of GP experiences of computer decision aids with Dr Liz Ford (and Dr Duncan Shrewsbury in the Department of Medical Education) and a network analysis of Covid-19 single-parent household transmission with Prof Cassell (and Prof Istvan Kiss at the University of Sussex).
What I enjoy the most about my role is bringing a critical mind to research, whether it be mine or someone else’s. I'm currently a PhD supervisor at BSMS and I’m about to start examining PhDs too. I also carry out annual progress reviews for PhDs in progress and I really enjoy helping people think through how to make their research as robust as possible and how to think in a structured and critical way. This is something I really try and apply to my own work too. Every time I write a grant, I'll try and step away from it and then come back and completely deconstruct it, picking apart all the problems. One of my biggest passions is researching difficult topics and I tend to research populations that are seldom heard and think of how we can innovate methodologically. I've got a very ethical-political slant on what I do and I like to notice and break with convention when it doesn’t serve us or those whom we try to help through our research. This has led me to develop a critical epidemiological approach to sexual and reproductive health research and, more recently, a Trauma and Resilience Informed Research Principles and Practices framework.
I would consider sexual and reproductive health my main research speciality and it is something that I kind of fell into. The first job I got at the University of Brighton was as a research assistant working on a HIV study and I worked in a sexual health clinic. From there, I ended up running the Brighton Syphilis Project, so it was serendipity that sent me into sexual health. But I absolutely loved it and I like the speciality for a number of reasons. There is a political element to researching populations that might not be researched as much, areas where there might be issues of stigma. Sexual health for me has a wonderful intersection of really interesting issues. For example, when you're talking about infection, you're talking about public health and you're also talking about the individual's wellbeing.
I find sexual health a really fascinating field and the people that I have met working in the speciality have all been very inclusive and progressively minded. I have been able to do what I really like doing which is challenging convention. I like to think outside the box and offer a different perspective, championing people whose needs might be marginalised.
In my dream world, I would love to have my own small team of people working on studies that address psychosocial predictors and structural predictors of sexual risk. I guess my work comes under a broad arc of addressing adversity because the more enfranchised you are, the more likely you are to be able to take part in research and the more likely you are to be able to be a researcher. So, my dream would be to have my own small research team, with one arm looking at the trauma and resilience approach and one arm looking at broader predictors of sexual risk; both taking an inclusive approach that looks at structural and psychosocial adversities in the research context.
An achievement of mine is that I was the first person in the Southeast to win a doctoral fellowship award, which felt pretty special. I was also one of the first people to be awarded a Research for Patient Benefit grant when the scheme first began. I’m quite nerdy and I get academic crushes on people that I think are really interesting and creative thinkers. So, one of my greatest achievements was when one of my academic heroes, ProfSevgi Aral, cited some of my work. I've always lapped up her papers and reread them several times so when she cited me it felt like I had ‘arrived’.
Some of my heroes are friends of mine with mental health difficulties - I've certainly had my fair share of those as well. I've written quite a lot in book chapters about getting rid of this idea of the objective researcher who's got this perfect life. I would also say Jackie Cassell is definitely very inspiring to me, as is Liz Ford. They’re both innovative thinkers as well as being very decent human beings – they’re people who bring other people up with them. They've got amazing minds but they're not squashing anybody as they climb, in fact, they're doing quite the opposite and bringing people along with them. My old boss at the University of Brighton Prof Val Hall did similarly. I really owe her my success because I was employed to work on other people's research studies in the NIHR Research Design Service and she was the one who said ‘try to win your own grant and I'll back you’. I wasn't sure if I had the capability at the time but she inspired me to try.
The biggest challenge I have dealt with has been juggling everything. I’ve had an unconventional back-to-front career. I didn’t do my PhD until I was already in my forties and I was a single parent with two children by then. Because I got my PhD when I was already quite senior it has been hard to find a trajectory. One of my children is also neurodivergent and I have screened positive for autism as well, though have not yet been diagnostically assessed. So, dealing with neurodivergence has also been a part of my life.
When managing my work/life balance I'm quite strict with boundaries. I also have little tricks, particularly when working from home, that helps me to differentiate the working day from my own time. One thing I do is make sure I finish my day with a list of what I'm first doing when I come back to work. This helps me not to think about work in my own time. I'm quite good at being my own PA and setting myself reminders, which I think is really helpful.
To switch off, I've recently taken up cold water swimming. I also do something called shape-note singing, which is very niche. It's been described as the heavy metal of choral music because you basically belt every single song as loudly as you can, and it's very cathartic. I'm quite an active person and I try to cycle or run regularly. I'm also in two book clubs and, prior to Covid, I played in an indie band on bass and vocals and did some of the songwriting. I'm definitely one of these people with a ridiculous number of interests, which also helps me to stay off emails out of work hours.
The advice I would give my younger self would be to have courage and believe in my ability. One of the reasons I did my PhD quite late was because I didn't believe in my ability. It was only when I was working as a research advisor that I kept meeting people with doctorates and thinking, ‘I’m just as bright as they are’. I think I would also say to have the confidence to ask for help, which is something I have learned to do over the years.
The advice I would give a young woman starting out in her career is to listen to her gut. The struggle is real, the patriarchy is still out there alive and kicking. Trust your gut. If you feel that you’re being passed over, you probably are. Don’t be afraid to challenge it in any way you feel comfortable. I would also say find role models that you can turn to. I have yet to work at an organisation where there hasn't been at least a couple of senior women who really are changing the way of working and are willing to help give a leg up and offer support. Definitely find female role models that understand the landscape and draw on their expertise. Then when you get to be the senior person yourself you can pay it forward.